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#572
08-20-2010, 04:22 PM
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Q: What is the difference between an interverted engineer and an extroverted engineer?
A: An interverted engineer stares at his feet when he is speaking, and an extroverted engineer stares as your feet when he is speaking!! 5555.. ok.. You probably would have to be an engineer to find that funny. 
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#573
08-24-2010, 10:41 AM
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Quote:
What do you call an engineer who is very good at coming up with "What can possibly go wrong with this project?" ......the answer: Herman....55555 ....... They love him, they hate him...but most of all, they need him. When things don't run, he already knows where and how things went wrong, and he can fix it...Very complicated personality.
__________________
“We find comfort among those who agree with us – growth among those who don’t” Frank A. Clark
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#574
08-26-2010, 10:08 AM
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VEGETATIVE STATE
Last night, my mom and I were sitting around in the living room talking about life...among many others... we spoke about life and death... I said to her: "Mom, never let me live in a vegetative state, depending on machines and bottled liquids to stay alive, if you see me in that state, unplug all of those machines, that are keeping me alive, I prefer to die". Then, mom looked at me with a concerned look... she got up, and proceeded to unplugged the big screen tv, the Blue Ray, the entire home theater center, the laptop, the internet, the blackberry, the Ipod, the Wii, and then threw away my Coke stash and the beer I had in my hand.... ...I almost died..
__________________
“We find comfort among those who agree with us – growth among those who don’t” Frank A. Clark
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#575
08-26-2010, 10:13 AM
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This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!
================================= Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one... =============== Customer: Hi, this is Celine .. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No , wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry... =============== Tech support: ; Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? =============== Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and.... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.. =============== Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it. ============== Customer: I have problems printing in red.. Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. =============== Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. =============== Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: ! OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah that one does work.. ============= Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ? =============== Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five dots. =============== Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer. =============== Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. =============== Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first email. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it? =============== A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' =============== And last but not least... Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.' Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
__________________
“We find comfort among those who agree with us – growth among those who don’t” Frank A. Clark
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#576
08-27-2010, 11:52 AM
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Here's a little "CLEAN" humor with a good moral ...
The Pastor's Ass A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race... The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby Convent.. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted! He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the papers read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is .... Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery. It can even shorten your life.. ..So be yourself and enjoy life to the fullest. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
__________________
“We find comfort among those who agree with us – growth among those who don’t” Frank A. Clark
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#577
08-27-2010, 02:08 PM
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Quote:
 thanks euy. Need that today.
__________________
"THE ROAD MAY BE NARROW AND LONG, I MAY STUMBLE AND FALL, BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP" 
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